Good day all of my readers! I’ve been busy gardening, trying to catch up with my farm chores, so my newest blog is a little late. Sorry, but between that and my granddaughter who was sick, it kinda got me backed up!
Anyone who knows me, knows that I write because not only do I love to write, but because I feel I’d like to share some of my wisdom with you. I wish I had a mentor when I was younger, who could’ve helped me and my empathic issues. It would’ve made a big difference in me and some of my life choices. I hope that I can be of service to you. Also, feel free to comment or send me an email. I am sill learning, and I like to hear about other people’s experiences!
So…….to make a long story short, I’ve been going through some tough crap lately. My granddaughter got very ill(By-the-way, thanks for all of your support. She is better, but they may still have to operate. Please keep praying! You know it works!), and I was besides myself with worry. Anyways, I have a good friend(at least I THOUGHT she was), who called me often to talk to me about her problems. I sometimes told her about mine, but thinking back, it was very one-sided. And when I thought about it, it always had been a one-sided relationship. That’s when I finally decided to cut her loose.
It’s funny how sudden chaos in your life can reveal your true friends. It seems to me that most people aren’t supportive, or only supportive as long as it suit their needs. I have learned, that in this world, there are two kinds of people; givers and takers. The problem as an empath is that we are givers. It is a part of who we are. I’ve had so many takers in my life, I don’t know where to even start.
Here’s the biggest issue that we empaths have trouble with; cutting people out of our lives. Since we want to help and can feel what these people are feeling, it’s really really hard to let go. I know that when I hurt someone, I can feel their pain, so instead of taking care of myself, I let people stay in my life, often hurting me and depleting me of all of my energy.
Case in point. I really needed someone to talk to. So I called a couple of friends. Both completely blew me off, not even listening to a word I said. Now I cannot even recall how many times that these people called me with their problems, where I sat for hours listening. (You know no one really wants help, they just want to vent. So I just lend an ear.) There is something to be said about most Empaths; we are loyal and caring. We would give our shirts off our back. But there is also a time to cut people loose who just take and take. I was told one time by a wise person who commented; There are two people in this world; Givers and Takers.” And it’s very true. We as Empaths are almost always the givers, and we get used and used, and used, and used, and………………..
Until WE stop the cycle. We can still offer our gifts without letting people take advantage of us. There is nothing wrong with cutting people out who are sucking you dry, including family members. we need to take care of ourselves. How can we be of service to the world if we are constantly sucked dry? It’s one thing to help someone who can balance out the Karma; it’s another thing to have someone take, and take, and take.
I think my problems stem from wanting to belong so badly in my childhood. I put up with anything as long as I had people who approved of me. It’s a growth thing. I also have a bad habit of not putting my foot down and letting others bully me. And I also don’t like confrontation( Sags hate that!). But I am learning. I recently confronted someone and won an argument and felt very empowered. I always try to not hurt other’s feelings, because I can feel how bad I’ve made them feel. But how bad have they made ME feel? Why do I think that is less important? It’s a growth thing that we Empaths go through. So I deleted them from my Social Media, my phonebook, and my email accounts. And you know what? I felt bad for maybe a day, but now feel relieved. And the funny thing is, by getting rid of my negative energy, I ATTRACTED a lot more great people.
Try this….it’s in the long run, you will benefit!
Are there people bringing you down? BLOCK THEM! And don’t feel guilty. Try taking care of yourself for a change!!! Let me know if you can relate!
Oh wow! Yes! Thank you! Sending prayers for your granddaughter
Lana wow! Thought I was reading my story 😮. Recently just took back my energy from a supposed long time friend as well, which has shed a ton of light on the rest of my one-sided relationships. This past week was really eye-opening as every since person that contacted me was just dumping all their troubles, issues of strangers and just all sorts of negativity. I was finally aware of what was happening and learning when to shut the negativity down and remove myself from the situation or conversation. Give thanks for this article it was perfect divine timing.
Much love to you and your family ❤️
You sound every bit of myself. I've been trying to set boundaries. I have family who think they are always right, and can be pushy, get me this, do that. Nope! It's sad cause we live 4 1/2 hours away from each other and see each other a few times a year. And are still that way. Sad, but I keep my distance and try and set my boundaries. Thank you Lana.
I pray for your granddaughters health and for your families strength. 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
Good for you Lana. I’m getting good at this since last year when people who I gave and gave a good gave to I needed help from and most of them did not even show up for me and my son in the form of a short letter to the court. I lost in court partly because of lack of support from my so called friends and family. Like you said they only take. I got busy blocking and unfriending. I feel lighter because it was long over due and I continue to eliminate people from having access to my love and kindness when I deem them draining or when they cause so much negativity that my world feels heavier.…