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Lana Duncan-Hartgraves

Does Bullying Create An Empath?

Does Bullying Create an Empath?


I’ve had several people take to me about empaths and bullying lately. I find it very amusing because there are two different theories out there. One is that an empath is born to be one and the other is that it is created. After careful thinking, I think that it’s a little of both.

Many people say that humans are born with empathy. As a teacher of more than 30 years in Middle School, I know they are not. Kindness is taught(or should I say, reminded); it is a skill just as empathy is. Children do not just innately know right from wrong; their immediate response is from their lower brains when it comes to survival. What is best for them is to get what they want. If that means getting what they want by being nice to someone else, then that is their motivation.

In our ever busy world, where children are raising themselves through the internet, we see how cruel children have become. It’s simply because no one has taught what kindness and love really mean. Many are relying on their survival skills as a their ‘barometer’ to goodness. And when I say this, I mean most people, but not all.

There are children out there who are innately kind, but these are the true empaths. They came to the planet to bring love. Empath is a combination of taught and innate love. An empath must be reminded to be kind, why they came, or they can veer off from their purpose, forgetting their true nature.

I am one of these people for example. I know that I am an empath. I have been one mt while life. Was I born this way, or did it evolve through my severe bullying throughout my life(which seems to be my life theme, learning to stand up for myself). I think it is a little of both.

Bullying has kept me humble, I know this for a fact. Even though I have the skills of an empath, I know that I could have easily let my ego get in the way if I were thinner, prettier, etc. The trauma of being bullied kept me humble, and even though my severe bullying has caused me severe post- traumatic stress at times, it is made me who I am. I think that while my mother taught me to be kind, I could’ve been a much more horrible person if I hadn’t been bullied throughout me life.

We come to this planet to learn and experience things. We are given gifts to use for the benefit of others, and learn at the same time. I guess although I have been targeted my whole life, I guess it was for the benefit of myself, and I guess that I need to put that into perspective.

Empathy is earned and learned, and it’s a spiritual gift; and one has to learn also to forgive and thank the person that was a ‘pain in the butt.” Empathy is not only for others, but empathy for yourself. Just remember yourself and all many of us empaths have been through. There is a higher purpose, and we are who we are today becuase of our bullying. It has brought out our true talents.



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Patty Sutter
Patty Sutter
Jun 12, 2023

Very well said and so true!

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