Updated: May 13
Hi everyone! I hope your day has been great! I'm blogging again! It's been a long time!
Now, I think everyone has had a time or two where people just won't contact you, or just stop. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this and here my conclusions; it's them, not you!
I am editing this to make it clear. I am talking about good, solid friends who have a real relationship with you. The friends who you've known well and visa versa. People you've known for a long time. That's what makes it so painful.
Now I know it's cliche. My Native American friend used to say," Always consider the speaker ". It's the same in this case. When people ghost you, it's about them. This is what I find to be the issue with them:
They are cowards, or
They are narcissistic,
Or just self absorbed.
Now let me explain my thought process. People who don't like what you do or say and just refuse to talk to you about it are pure cowards. They don't want confrontation. It's too messy, or hard or whatever. As a Sag, I do not like cobfrontation I will go out of my way to avoid it. But I also know that it's something I need to work on, i.e., communication. Just running from the situation doesn't solve anything.
I have a friend who says that ghosting someone is a reaction of ' not listening" to the other person. I do not agree. Ghosting is a cowards way out of not dealing with an issue, or not wanting to take the time to deal with the issue. Ghosters might say,"I don't wanna deal with it", or say, " I don't have the tine, or even better, "I need to take care of my own needs". I hear that excuse the most often . What they are really saying is that I am more important than someone else's feelings, thoughts or actions. I don't have the foresite to think of anyone else.
This is where we talk about narcissism. It's all about themselves, with little regard to their actions or how they made the other party feel. They make it look like they are totally innocent or all wrong doing, unable to admit they have flaws, too. Flaws that could easily cause them to be ghosted themselves. They don't either see this or don't care. True narcissism!
This takes narcissism to new new level. I'm not saying maybe someone didn't warrant it; if so, then own it, take responsibility for it and work it out. It's give and take, which many people nowadays are too lazy to do.
So just remember that these people have the issue, not you!